A Year of Self-Realization

Sarah Clayton, Communication and Campaign Program Specialist, Achievers

It started with the death of a gorilla, it ended with the death of a guerilla. It’s difficult to argue anything other than 2016 being a bizarre AF year – and I as the human embodiment of the weirdness that was 2016 this past fall. I was lethargic, I was low and I believe I watched roughly six years’ worth of TV in about a week. I was actively the shittiest version of myself and having a savage quarter life crisis. I was persona non-grata in my own narrative and it sucked.

 

Until I had this sweet little realization during my self-imposed sweatpants exile.

 

The beautiful thing about ad-hoc realizations is that they appear when you least expect them and they have the potential to have a profound impact if you take the time to consider them. While my mind was co-existing with my body in the salty black hole I had created, I realized that I had a choice. I could either choose to take ownership of my life and what I wanted out of it, or I could choose to be ok with the mediocre outcome of taking a more passive role. I had to be more cognizant about putting myself in situations where my desired outcome was at least possible. In short, I realized I had to stop waiting for things to happen and take initiative towards attaining what I wanted out of life. It was intimidating and exhausting, but it was also empowering – it was the first time I fully embraced ownership and accountability of being a rad, bad bitch.

 

Cut to January 2017 and homegirl was all about the ‘own it’ mentality. I was in simultaneous shock and awe of the tenacity with which I was making my decisions. I booked a solo bae-cation to Colombia, I registered for a Tough Mudder and I doubled down on the hustle at work. As I took increasing control over the outcomes in my life, I found peace with accepting the day-to-day shenanigans that used to suck me in. I am by no means ‘self-realized’ after my dalliance with the quarter life crisis, but I am a helluva lot more ok with who I am and aware of the gaps that I personally need to address to get to who I want to be. I hope I always toe the line between respectable and rascal – so long as I own what I am doing.